wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
