two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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