She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
