perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
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He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
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I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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