He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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