I wish I could punch you in the face.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
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