i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
