Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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