Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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