were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
