Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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