uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
