found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
only you would photoshop your dick
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i believe in u and ur pee
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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