I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just google imaged poop.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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