If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
