nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
