Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
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I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
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I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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