I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize