forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize