Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
