He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
