Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
