At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you would pick up someone in the library
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
