Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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