its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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