Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Randomize
