You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize