so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
