There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
