I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
bring money and cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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