dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize
