we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I need water and some morals
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
