Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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