No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
