so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize