and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
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he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
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The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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