You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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