I think scott just propositioned me for sex
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
