i need an iv and a liver transplant
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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