Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
