just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
