She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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