That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
