is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
