omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
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