Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
