Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
