Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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