So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
