After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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