ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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