Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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