So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
