so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
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I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
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Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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