my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
