I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
