woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
