I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize