I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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